You want me to put that bar where?

I remember my parents talking about tow-bars when they skied years ago but I’ve never had the pleasure of riding up a hill on such a rickety contraption. I can’t name a ski resort in California that still uses them. If someone uses the phrase “world class” to describe a ski resort, I imagine the place having a gondola or something; for example, Aspen, Whistler, or Squaw.

The best terrain at Portillo is accessed by tow bar. La Barra! Caray!

Of course I wanted to access the best terrain, so I made my attempt up the Roca Jac tow bar after studying a few people maneuver themselves onto this contraption. They were all skiers. A very nice woman tried to explain how a snowboarder should position himself for the ascent. She suggested I only clip on the front bindings. Stick the bar between your legs, position your snowboard straight uphill, curve the bar at an angle over your left leg and under your right leg. The lift takes off slowly then speeds up—very quickly. About a third of the way up, my board flew to the left side from underneath my body, and my arms still grasping the bar dragged me uphill for a few feet before I let go. Unfortunately, I also knocked off the nice skier woman and her husband. After apologizing profusely, I told them I would let them go ahead and do my second attempt with a different group of skiers who didn’t know about my unsuccessful first attempt.

Second attempt: I try to clip both my boots into the bindings, which helps. I make it halfway up this time and only knock off only one skier! I’m feeling like this is decent progress. By now, every skier on the Roca Jac knows my plot. Rather than make a third attempt which might possibly get me two-thirds up the hill while knocking off only one ski of some unfortunate skier, I call it an afternoon and head in for lunch.

The good news: later in the afternoon, I try again and make it up successfully two times in a row. And the better news, on the next day I taught another snowboarder how to ride this funky contraption while at the same time terrifying him so much that I thought he was going to stop breathing.

Dear California snowboarders – if you ever want to learn how to put a tow-bar between your legs, I’m here to help.

I found this YouTube video showing two snowboarders ascending the Roca Jac lift. The steepness and high speed is not represented in the video because the whole background is white and doesn’t really provide much depth: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmItTR7PZlk

Looking up the tow-bar route up Roca Jac.

Ski Patrol is standing by, waiting for someone like me to roll down the mountain after falling off the bar. The photo does not truly represent the steepness of this run or how icey the conditions were during the week of this photo.